The Inner Circle: The Weird-Wild And Wonderful Window Film Customers

The Inner Circle

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The Inner Circle: The Weird-Wild And Wonderful Window Film Customers

The Weird-Wild And Wonderful Window Film Customers

So... I spent 33 years working for 3M and I can assure you that not one minute of any of those years was spent making sales calls in someone's home!

You might imagine the culture shock when I found myself spending 99.9% of my time doing residential sales calls.

A fish out of water? (Yeah- -I know but it's a nice picture!)

Corporate or commercial selling is a completely different animal than residential.

Sure there are an assortment of nutty purchasing managers and Directors of Security that I met along the way. I'll spare you the details; but some of these people could fill up a book of unusual and eccentric behavior.

I estimate that I have been in more than 4,000 homes since 3M and I parted ways in 2007.

Big homes, trailer homes, condo's and town homes.

It's these homeowners that keep me going and some of these folks are simply unforgettable.

I won't name names. .but. . .

Here's my TOP FIVE STRANGE LIST

I did an estimate at a home that was shared by three transvestites. Based on appearances (who am I to judge?) these gals/guys were obviously in the very early stage of trans-gender alteration.

Their home was well maintained and each of the partners had a name that could be either male or female. Pat, Chris, Adrian. .you get the idea.

They were keen on privacy and wanted a highly reflective film because " the neighbors were odd" (a direct quote!)

I of course acted like all this was perfectly normal and closed the deal on the spot!
The Clothing Optional couple:

Privacy was certainly not the issue. The home had huge windows totally unobstructed views. They were worried about UV fading their rugs. On the other hand they only wore towels to make me feel comfortable. Their neighbors were walking, biking and tennis playing in the "altogether!"

I got the deal and politely declined the nickel tour that the homeowners wife offered!
The Fighters:

The couple was screaming at the top of their lungs at each other as I prepared to ring the doorbell. I thought that perhaps I should come back later but I simply hit that doorbell. The male voice shouted "get the Fu&*ing door!" The wife screamed back in kind.

This gent opens the door and stares at me like I'm an IRS agent, "What do you want??" He scowled.

I quickly tell him that I am that window tinting guy come to take the glare out of his eyes.

I didn't get that one!
The Fireman's Friend:

I arrived exactly on time and went through my wonderful discussion of windowfilmology.

The young man reviews my price the same way I'd look at a bill for a 5 carat diamond ring. He tells me he has a friend who is a fireman. That said fireman can tint on the side. He says his buddy can do the same job at half my price.

This is apparently a revelation that without his help I'd have never figured out myself.

I tell him that he should get his good buddy to do the job and that you can't really compare a moonlighting tinter with a real window film company. You know; with real insurance, real business documents, a real employer with a real business location.

This fellow turns red faced and asks me how I can denigrate firemen?

I laughed and left.

Didn't get that one!
My Fellow Class Man

So I get an estimate in Trinity late one Friday afternoon.

The home is well appointed and a maid, or a nurse greets me. I can't really tell based on the uniform she is wearing.

She leads me to the living room where an older heavy-set gentleman is waiting. He has that oxygen machine hooked up on wheels and tubes for breathing.

He's concerned about the electric bill and the heat (I'm thinking he's got plenty more to worry about!) but he interrupts my "shtick" by asking me where I'm from?

I tell him proudly that "I'm from Brooklyn!"

He says that he's also from Brooklyn and had immediately recognized my accent. (Accent?? Me??!!)

I tell him I went to Brooklyn Tech (it reinforces my Brooklyn street cred) and he stares at me like I'm a ghost.

You see he went to Tech thirty years earlier than me. His fondest memories he tells me, were of those halcyon days in the halls of the Technites.

I asked him if he remembered our gym on the 10th floor? The huge antenna at the top of the school?

He sighed and started crying.

I asked him if he was OK?

He said he hadn't thought of those days for 50 years or more. That he wasn't going to be around too much longer and that he was really considering window film for his wife, rather than himself.

He asked me to wait and retrieved his Tech yearbook and pointed himself out in the pages of black and white photos of 17 and 18 year old boys all with incredibly short haircuts.

Yeah I thought to myself, that looks like him (sort of!)

He held tight to that book like a lifeline to the past. You could see the memories dancing in his eyes.

Joy mixed with sadness.

I felt it too.

I got that one!