Knowing Your Limitations-How Not To Sell Window Tint
Just about every day a prospective client will ask me if "I will be the guy doing the window film installation?"
My pat answer is to tell them to look at me. . .seriously. . .
"Do they really think an old guy like me is going to hop up on a ladder and install this 340 square foot job?"
Now candidly if I did know how to install I'd have pocketed a heck of a lot of money these last few years (just ask my installers!)
But as Dirty Harry once said:
The very first meeting I ever attended involving window film was held at a run down motel next to 3M Center.
I had just hired on in the "Lunatic Fringe" department of window film having left the 3M Safety and Security Division.
My previous job had been to sell 3M Secure ID cards. These cards were supposed to last a very long time (or at least ten years!)
That job might have lasted longer if this lifetime card hadn't cracked in half after swiping it a dozen times.
This made the now half cracked "lifetime card" as functional as a broken umbrella.
But I digress; Back to my first 3M window film meeting. . .
I'm sitting at a long table with a group of St. Paul people (I called them and still do "The Frozen Chosen")
One after another they marched forward to the 3M projector (what else?) and proudly showed their overhead transparencies. (This was all in the pre-PowerPoint age!)
I zoned out (as usual) and pretended to take notes while doodling the same faces and lines that I have been drawing since back in the first grade.
Blah, blah, blah. .
They explained all they could dig out about their window film and seemed particularly enthused by their ultra films. They described this particular film as having tear resistance which made it stronger than all other security films. (This was way back in the 1990's, of course so bear with me!)
This all sounded fine and I hoped it was really true (thinking about my recently deceased lifetime card!)
Then came the moment of truth.
My new manager was holding his own glass bag and crow bar at the front of the meeting room.
He proudly opened the bag and gingerly removed his personal piece of glass while telling us that this was the "only way to sell this Scotchshield Ultra film!"
He explained that "by the time we got home we would have a box of glass with this film on each piece and of course we'd be able to take our personal crow bars home with us!" I was thinking that this made a wonderful parting gift and that I could possibly use the crowbar for several other purposes immediately!
Unfortunately I held that bag a tad to tightly trying to get a good grip (not wanting it to fly into the face of the unknown St. Paulie sitting to my left.)
Suddenly my new friend on my left tapped me on my shoulder to point out that my left hand was bleeding all over my doodle notes.
Not being the type to carry bandages on me, I jumped up to find the nearest Men's room.
I took an extra 20 minutes to wrap up my damaged left hand. (20 minutes less boredom and certainly well earned thanks to my battle injuries)
That box of glass and my handy crowbar sit gathering dust somewhere in my attic along with an install kit that another genius boss handed out a decade later (this guy believed that we had to know how to install film to be able to sell it!)
My pat answer is to tell them to look at me. . .seriously. . .
"Do they really think an old guy like me is going to hop up on a ladder and install this 340 square foot job?"
I explain that I employ several young men with Popeye arms (from so much squeegee-ing)
They laugh- -I laugh, and we move on.
Now candidly if I did know how to install I'd have pocketed a heck of a lot of money these last few years (just ask my installers!)
But as Dirty Harry once said:
"A man's got to know his limitations."
The very first meeting I ever attended involving window film was held at a run down motel next to 3M Center.
I had just hired on in the "Lunatic Fringe" department of window film having left the 3M Safety and Security Division.
My previous job had been to sell 3M Secure ID cards. These cards were supposed to last a very long time (or at least ten years!)
That job might have lasted longer if this lifetime card hadn't cracked in half after swiping it a dozen times.
This made the now half cracked "lifetime card" as functional as a broken umbrella.
But I digress; Back to my first 3M window film meeting. . .
I'm sitting at a long table with a group of St. Paul people (I called them and still do "The Frozen Chosen")
One after another they marched forward to the 3M projector (what else?) and proudly showed their overhead transparencies. (This was all in the pre-PowerPoint age!)
I zoned out (as usual) and pretended to take notes while doodling the same faces and lines that I have been drawing since back in the first grade.
Blah, blah, blah. .
They explained all they could dig out about their window film and seemed particularly enthused by their ultra films. They described this particular film as having tear resistance which made it stronger than all other security films. (This was way back in the 1990's, of course so bear with me!)
This all sounded fine and I hoped it was really true (thinking about my recently deceased lifetime card!)
Then came the moment of truth.
We were all handed a glad bag with a square piece of glass and a small crow bar.
My new manager was holding his own glass bag and crow bar at the front of the meeting room.
Damn you could see how much this guy was jazzed about breaking his glass bag
I perked up from my St. Paul daze (they always keep the heat on too high to compensate for the cold. There is never any fresh air, of course, and all the previous blather had nearly induced a coma!)
Glass Bag and crowbar.
This was different!
This was different!
My boss held the bag in his left hand and with his right he slammed the bag!
Cool noise.
Cool noise.
He proudly opened the bag and gingerly removed his personal piece of glass while telling us that this was the "only way to sell this Scotchshield Ultra film!"
He explained that "by the time we got home we would have a box of glass with this film on each piece and of course we'd be able to take our personal crow bars home with us!" I was thinking that this made a wonderful parting gift and that I could possibly use the crowbar for several other purposes immediately!
He instructed us all to break our glass at the count of three!
One
Two
Three
One
Two
Three
At the count of three I slammed that stink'in bag of glass.
Unfortunately I held that bag a tad to tightly trying to get a good grip (not wanting it to fly into the face of the unknown St. Paulie sitting to my left.)
Slam. .
The glass broken - - I had accomplished my task!
Suddenly my new friend on my left tapped me on my shoulder to point out that my left hand was bleeding all over my doodle notes.
Not being the type to carry bandages on me, I jumped up to find the nearest Men's room.
Paper towels can frequently be your best friend you know!
I took an extra 20 minutes to wrap up my damaged left hand. (20 minutes less boredom and certainly well earned thanks to my battle injuries)
I returned to the meeting room somewhat embarrassed but fully convinced that I would never, ever use a crowbar on any glass with or without this film on it!
This is a promise I have kept all these many years.
That box of glass and my handy crowbar sit gathering dust somewhere in my attic along with an install kit that another genius boss handed out a decade later (this guy believed that we had to know how to install film to be able to sell it!)
No. .
I don't install the film.
I don't install the film.
Posted by Mike Feldman at 8/8/2010 9:07 AM 
Categories: Humor Unusual Weird, Consulting Coaching
Tags: crowbar and tint lessons in selling
Categories: Humor Unusual Weird, Consulting Coaching
Tags: crowbar and tint lessons in selling
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