Show Stoppers Or How We Grabbed People Into Our Window Tinting Booth
I didn't grow up wanting to be a window tinter.
It was thrust upon me, I'm a victim of circumstances.
It was thrust upon me, I'm a victim of circumstances.
It's not a matter of life and death. Mistakes can be made yet immediately rectified. That errant bubble squished down, the piece removed completely and done over; this time correctly.
There's fun to be had in this business and no greater opportunity than at a home show.
People who attend home shows fall into various predictable categories of consumers.
There are scores of men, usually older being dragged by an invisible leash by their wives. You can see in in the look of utter hopelessness on their faces.
This becomes more acute on a Sunday when they would prefer to be glued to their sofa watching a football game with a beer in hand.
Not today Bunky- -Not today!
Occasionally you'll spy a couple dressed to the nines totally out of place in the home show milieu.
Breast augmentation just another accessory.
The handsome fella on her arm will have that athletic toned look despite his age. Both look into the distance over my shoulder as they pass. Perhaps they are looking for a diamond accessory or gold plated utensils? Maybe they made a wrong turn past the Neiman Marcus store?
Somehow I doubt they will meet their goals among all the hot tubs, Elvis paintings and magical carpet cleaners.
They are the polar opposites to that high class couple.
Wide at the hip, tattoo's and baby strollers substituting for shopping carts.
This is your typical home show and my chance for immortality!
I stand with a brochure in my hand as they hope to avoid me.
"We install energy savings window tinting" I cry out!
No reaction. . .
Only an uncomfortable smile and quick look away.
"Our window tinting makes you look 20 pounds lighter and reverses hair loss" I bellow!
"Find out how window tinting can make you live 20 years longer- -No kidding!"
They slink on by looking for that special shower nozzle that can hit all the spots on your body. The beleaguered hubby eyeballing that cute honey pure booth babe who is obviously NOT an employee of that outdoor space cooling fan distributor.
"We tint homes and cars!!" I shout.
"We tint potato chips and sneakers"
"We have tinted yachts and boats and domesticated animals!" I bellow.
"We tint potato chips and sneakers"
"We have tinted yachts and boats and domesticated animals!" I bellow.
One Jerry Springer lady stopped and asked me if we could turn her white dog into a brown dog?
The show gets slow for a half hour and all the exhibitors congregate to moan about how last year was busier or ten years ago was tremendous. They explain that it's the economy, the weather, the church crowd, the republicans, the Tampa Bay Bucs, the parking, the show marketing or lack of same.
The guy selling pots and pans is busy flirting with that unattainable booth bimbo twenty years his junior.
The hot tub ladies are conducting a secret meeting complaining about their lazy ass hot tub boss who never works the show.
An old guy who sells the shower head must be doing very well because he's got more bling bling on than Beyonce.
I am blinded by his diamond ring and envious of his $100,000 watch.
This immediately reminds me of some guy who said that rather than buying a watch for $100,000, he'd rather hire a personal assistant that would hang around him 24/7. When he wanted to know what time it was he'd just turn around and ask his lackey what time it was?
The AC guy wants to network with me and five boneheads stop by and ask me if I'd like to advertise in their coupon books?
Nope!
Here comes a stunning woman all by herself.
The pool guy literally points in her direction like some Indian scout and proclaims: "Best In Show!"
The flower pot guy objects and claims the real "Best In Show" is the model hanging around the coffee pot booth in aisle 400!
I make a promise to myself to check her out later?
Here she comes. . .
"We tint luxury cars and mansions"
"Best Window Tinting In Show!!"
Posted by Mike Feldman at 11/7/2010 12:30 PM 
Categories: Humor Unusual Weird, Consulting Coaching
Tags: How We Grabbed People Into Our Window Tinting Booth
Categories: Humor Unusual Weird, Consulting Coaching
Tags: How We Grabbed People Into Our Window Tinting Booth
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