Tampa-Home Shows A Labor Of Love

Here's the thing. .

I really dislike working home shows or frankly any type of trade show.

My disdain began decades ago when I was sent to do a 3M safety and security show all by my lonesome in Raleigh-Durham, NC.

I'd never set up one of these portable booth displays prior to that occasion and when I took all the components out of the carry case I had no clue how to erect this wonderful display.

A Good Samaritan kindly set up the entire booth in minutes while I watched in awe. Of course I never paid any attention to how he did it; so I had no clue exactly how to reverse the process when it came to the end of the show.

I dislike the big mouths at these shows who shout out to people walking by.

I dislike booth bunny babes that are hired just for this event to attract old guys (yes I am personalizing this!)

These airheads know nothing about what they are selling, but no one ever seems to care.

I dislike the booths that are selling heating pads.  The brightly colored devices that self heat at the press of a button.

I watch  enviously as hundreds of people grab these concoctions placing these contraptions on their backs, shoulders and unmentionables.

Golly; you'd never have suspected that so many people have bad backs?

Then you watch the multitudes lying flat on their back at the Sleep Number Bed display.

The same jokes, over and over again. (Best jokes are the homophobic comments inevitably heard when two guys hop on the bed at the same time!)



But the worst moments are the looks on the faces of people who pass my booth and act like window film is quite possibly the worst product anyone has ever tried to hawk at a home show.

The look is priceless.



A mix between complete bafflement and shock.

"I had all my windows replaced."- Yup they paid ten times more for absolutely no benefit.

"How much do you sell the film for?- -I want to do it myself"

"Oh we had that done years ago." (you just know it ain't true but these folks must feel that I needed comfort at that moment; or validation that my life isn't hopeless.)

Some wave you off; like I'm a roadside beggar holding up a cardboard sign.

The wave says: Please don't bother me buddy- -I'm here for the sleep number bed and my back aches!

Uh-Oh. .


Here she comes, Miss America dressed to the nines.

High heels and micro mini skirt. Tube top exposing herself for all the world to see. 

She never glances left or right as she does her best runway walk.

The old guys in ever booth stop dead in their tracks their eyes (who am I kidding? my eyes following her every move.)

I wonder how much more business I'd grab if she would volunteer to stand at my booth for an hour? The thought immediately evaporates as she turns the corner.

Oops. .


Here comes the Hell's Angel convention.  (Probably not my ideal customer demographic)

They stare with envy at my smashed window with that thick security film.

"Hey buddy- -can I buy this window? I like the way it looks."

Just then- - That perfect couple heads right to my booth holding a 3M Bag.

They look at me and ask:

"How does your stuff compare to that 3M stuff?'

Queue the victory music!

Home Shows- A Labor Of Love?

Posted by Mike Feldman at 9/5/2011 9:43 AM
Categories: Humor Unusual Weird, Energy Savings Window Tinting 2012, Home Shows Tampa-Orlando
Tags: Tampa-Home Shows A Labor Of Love
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