Originally posted June 20, 2008

My side of the story:

Now don’t get me wrong, I kinda like dogs. We have one at home; which doesn’t qualify me for “Dog Lover” of the year, but it’s a start.

Of course dogs are at their loudest when you are just about to ring their door bell. The potential client will usually tell you that Tippy is “harmless” while spending the entire estimate disciplining Tippy about barking, jumping on my brochures or simply growling at me.

I understand the growling part, since the dog’s distractions occupy so much of the homeowners awareness, I might just as well be explaining quantum physics and the latest thoughts on String Theory! (and by the way, there is nothing more distracting than a barking dog and a screaming baby going at it at the same time, but I digress!)

Nevertheless, I usually get through these adventures in fairly good shape.

Until two weeks ago. .

Suffering with pain on my side from my latent chicken pox and confident that I was no longer contagious, I gingerly approached a home in Wesley Chapel.  Now, just so we are on the same page; the pain in my side and rib area was worth two hours a night of icing. So I was hurting “big time” when I hit that door bell.

Woof– Woof, barking, screaming and the shout from inside , “Hold on!! I’ll be right out!!” Locks, chains and dead-bolts opening up and the front door swings open. “Oh hi” the homeowner says as I enter the home with my business card in my hand.

Out of the corner of my eye I see a verrrry large dog bounding toward me and my aching side!!

My prospect quickly says “he’s just being friendly!” as Fido heads closer toward me.

This isn’t your run of the mill, Beagle or Poodle, oh no. It’s some cross between a German Shepard and a Doberman.
This dog was BIG!

As Fido makes his leap toward my still aching side, I reacted defensively trying to protect my three hour ice investment and the two Advil’s I took an hour before.

I crouched in a fetal position as she grabbed Fido’s collar and pulled him away from me. The look on her face was priceless as she asked me why I was so afraid of dogs?? I don’t think I got that order!! Darn that ill behaved dog!!

The Dog replies:

This guy is a big baby. First off I am not a cross between a German Shepard and a Doberman!! Get your dogs right you wimp!

And I didn’t jump at this guy! I simply strolled into MY LIVING ROOM and watched as he hunkered down acting like a scared baby!!

I certainly apologize for any misunderstanding, and frankly recommended that my Master get his Vista , or whatever that window film was!

How on earth was I supposed to know the guy had pain in his side!

If he was hurting that much he should have stayed in bed!!

I rest my case!

And… my name is Scooter!!!